New Orleans currently has an advertising campaign that is designed to get locals to start acting like tourists – eat out at those fancy restaurants, go walk around the French Quarter and see the World War II Museum!! Little did they know, no campaign is necessary when you are the constant tour guide to your friends from around the world, and frequent friend and navigator to lost tourists.
But instead of teaching us how to be tourists, why don’t they tell us how to deal with them? Below are a few questions we have for New Orleans (BTW, we’ll be acting as the Tourism Board in this faux Dear Abby column… if haven’t already figured that out).
Dear NOLA, we love the attention from the cuties here on vaca. But how do we let them know that we are not going to be the interesting story they tell when they get home?
Good question 2G1S! It is hard when our city is a frequent destination to bachelors looking to have a good time before the “big day.” We still want you to go out on Frenchman, but suggest that those gentlemen visit the more tawdry locales on Bourbon Street versus them trying to take you back to their hotel. Also remind them that the rumor that you can have sex in the street is not necessarily true, and the rules for that type of behavior are too long to mention in this post. But c’mon girls, do you really mind it that much? ;)
Dear NOLA, we have frequently run into visitors that want us to sit calmly and watch the amazing live music our city has to offer. 2G1S loves to shake our booties and isn’t that the way you should experience the music?
I completely agree!! It sounds like you may have experienced this at Jazz Fest or The Spotted Cat, where locals frequently complain about being reprimanded for having a good time and tourists frequently complain about being crammed and sweaty. Keep shaking that groove thang but do it politely, behind their seated chairs. And if the mood strikes, invite them to join!
Oh we do, Dear NOLA, we do! We frequently start the dance party at BMC and find it amusing to take the hand of the most awkward looking wallflower and twirl them around until a smile spreads across their face and a dance party ensues.
Great job girls! Way to help the tourists really experience the local flavor of the city. They need to remember that they will never be judged down here for having fun! Do they not see the random assortment of characters our city has to offer? Trannies, dirty hipsters, homeless by choice musicians, gypsies, old women with pink hair and their preppy daughters – we have it all. And like the Mardi Gras song says “Do whatchu wanna!”
Dear NOLA, we find it oddly confusing that many of our guests turn a bright shade of red while here. Are we not providing the tourists with enough opportunities in which to buy sunscreen?
That is a frequent health issue we have in the Quarter. Be a role model ladies. Stop going to the Country Club and thinking you have a base tan and therefore don’t need an extra layer of protection either. We see that dark shade of red. Maybe we need more CVSs. We’ll take it up with the city developers.
Dear NOLA, we love that you’re reminding visitors of all the great local establishments we have in N’awlins. But how can we help them quickly learn the ropes of said establishments?
Yes, those lines at Café du Monde are annoying (don’t they know there is no hostess and they should just sit down??) and taking pictures of the sandwich board at Stein’s is not helping the line go any faster. And yes, those gay men are naked at the Country Club, they should learn to hide their shocked expressions. Our suggestion, tell them to put down the Hurricane, sober up a bit and start paying attention. They won’t get offended. They are already drunk.
Dear NOLA, it can be hard when people visiting this city make general comments about the locals and the “way we live here.” How do we hold our tongue and not bite their heads off?
WHO DAT MAKIN’ DEM COMMENTS?!? Best city in the world. OUT!
